The limitless unspoken
I believe people often talk too much and say very little. I see it in the small, subtle things. The constant circling without connecting. Answers orphaned of questions. Meaning divorced from cause. Motivations kept hidden like bandaged scars.
I also believe that despite however much talking people do in general, there are multitudes more left unsaid. Unspoken.
I’ve been fascinated with the unspoken and from time to time get caught in obsessing over tiny moments engaged with others — friends, colleagues, strangers— it doesn’t matter who, and I wonder despite our interaction what they may have wanted to say or ask but didn’t.
There are many reasons people bite their tongues and guard their words. Fear, mostly. Sometimes shame, or embarrassment. And sometimes calculation — the guarded word held back for advantage. For most it is a mixture of all of these, subtle and intuitive rather than strategic and deliberate. Though I admit to some exceptions on my own part, and I can only ever speak for myself.
We shouldn’t underestimate the power of the unspoken, however. Words can be harmful as well as helpful. To me, care is the better part of virtue — weighing the need to share against the likely consequences of sharing. I have found that only a small fraction of what I actually think ever passes my lips.
Is that deception? Perhaps. But such deceptions are necessary between people and among society. Like thoughts and ideas, not all words are welcome by others. And the gauging of another’s reactions to our own can sometimes mean the difference between joy and sorrow, success and suffering.
And the sharing or potential sharing of anomalous experiences is no different. The odd dreams that go unmentioned. The gut feelings that go acted upon without credit. The certain knowledge one obtains seemingly out of nowhere that suddenly proves accurate or true. The realization that on rare occasions the impossible overtakes the improbable.
So I've come to the conclusion that, however imprecise the counting, the words we read and say in a lifetime are finite. What is left unspoken is limitless and innumerable.
This may be for the best. In a civilization that prizes materiality, entropy, and artificial scarcity, notions of the infinite and innumerable must be at least heresy, if not criminal.
By D. Bowman Nomina Numina is a journal of reflections, moments, and meaning-making between worlds. Reply by email.